maggie's musings

01.28.2026 (wed)

I find it quite crazy that it’s almost February in the blink of an eye. I’ve started university now and it’s been quite an interesting experience. I’ve met many people and made a bunch of new friends/acquaintances. I believe I’m afraid of not having enough depth or quality in what I do so I strive to “be enough” as soon as I can. Except the issue is that most companies will not accept freshmen because they search for those who already have experience in the field. Thus, it is true when my university tells me “you have time but also not enough time”. We are encouraged to find a job or internship as soon as we can, for the summer time and for the semester. I suppose I should put myself out there more. I mean, that is the exact reason as to why I’ve attended so many events in the 3 weeks I’ve been at uni. It feels like several months have passed by, but no, it hasn’t. Sometimes I worry about burning out, but I hope that doesn’t happen for a while. I need to hang in there and make sure I”m physically alive as well. I often find myself forgetting a meal or staying up for no reason besides to think. I’ve learned quite a lot from my writing course about how writing doesn’t just “come to you” because you must revise and revise until you’re satisfied with what you’re presenting. Most of these posts will likely be brain dumps though. I also find consistency to be an issue with me. I told myself that I’ll make a post every week. One Sunday passes.. Then another. And another.. I used to be like that with the gym as well but I’ve learned to keep myself accountable. If it is a good life I want, I must keep up the consistency towards a good life. I still often feel behind my peers solely because they already have startup ideas whereas I feel scattered about. As my father has told me, I matured slower than others. It’s funny he says that though because a lot of my peers, whether younger or older, have told me I seem mature. They often don’t expect me to be a freshman. But I’m sure I’ve found great school clubs to be apart of. I just need to wrap up the loose ends (getting my LinkedIn and resume set up). I’ve always had the belief that my life will be well-lived. We shall see if present me is willing to prepare that for the future me. Good luck to everyone on their endeavors as well.